Top 10 most annoying things about being a modern era Immortal
Having to bite your tongue during all the Millennium hype
to keep from saying “Big deal, I was there for the last one.”
Trying to get your sword through Customs.
Your doctor, who you only visit for appearances sake, gives
you a strange look and says he wants to run some tests.
Someone built a mini-mall on your favourite Holy Ground sanctuary
and now you’re not sure if it still counts.
Creating a new identity for yourself now requires a degree
in Computing Science.
New banking policies mean that the account you opened a century
ago is closed due to lack of use.
The huge amount of money you have to pay to have your home
and everything in it surge-protected.
You really miss the days when a person could carry a sword
in public.
You wake up screaming from a nightmare where you’re on The
Jerry Springer Show.
They just don’t make swords like they used to anymore.
Top 10 Signs you might have a Watcher
You complain to your friends about how complex and detailed
this year’s census poll was, and no one else remembers filling one out.
You get an anonymous letter asking you to please stop travelling
so much, because you’re breaking their budget.
You go into a bar or restaurant where you’ve never been before
and the server asks if you want “the usual”.
You stop in at an antique bookshop and you think you see
an old dusty book with your name on the cover.
The person in the seat across from you on the subway has
been reading the same page for at least 5 stations.
The person who comes to welcome you to the neighbourhood
seems to have an itch on the inside of his wrist.
Your neighbour keeps bringing your mail that “accidentally”
got delivered to him, but every single one has been opened already.
No matter what the weather is, you keep seeing people in
trench coats.
As soon as you move into a new building, a newspaper stand
opens on the corner.
You notice a guy talking into a micro recorder, and you think
you hear your name.
Watcher’s Most Embarrassing Moments
(as told late one night at Joe’s Bar)
Based on an unconfirmed rumour, a rookie agent in California
follows Dick Clark for 10 years
During a session in Paris, an overzealous young Watcher runs
up to MacLeod and asks for an autograph.
Richie’s first Watcher gets sacked after, once too often,
he goes home as soon as MacLeod says “You stay here”.
Late one night, as Adam Pierson works alone researching the
Methos Chronicles, a security guard claims he hears hysterical laughter
coming from the library.
A favourite piece of office entertainment: the monthly expense
report filed by Amanda’s Watcher, detailing all the things he’s “lost”
while on duty.
A quiet, serious looking fellow petitions to enter the Watchers;
he introduces himself as “Fox” and cites as previous related experience
something called “X-files investigation”. The council rejects his membership
due to an obsessive personality and a delusional belief in aliens and conspiracies.
The day that Dawson finally discovers the existence of a
“When’s Horton coming back?” betting pool.
Xavier St. Cloud’s Watcher wets his pants when he finds a
severed arm –still moving—at the scene of combat.
One Watcher insisted on doing all his reports at the scene,
with a micro-recorder. The look on his face was priceless when he learned
that all of his tapes were blank, due to “electrical damage”.
One of the most memorable parts of a field agent’s training
is the moment when he or she is taken into a small room and shown a headless
corpse. This is unofficially known as the “Retching Room”.
Top 10 signs you didn't explain Immortality well enough
Three words : The Immortal Cimmoli.
You decide to would be fun to tell newbies you're God.
You make your newbie into your own private love-slave.
Your pre-Immie boyfriend becomes Immortal and you find out
he doesn't want it.
You still can't think of anything better than the "watch
me die" method.
The child-Immie you're teaching turns out to be a real brat,
and stays that way for 800 years..
The newbie you're teaching thinks it's all fun and games.
Your brother-in-law decides Immortals are "an abomination".
Your doctor girlfriend won't stop asking questions.
Your ex-cop boyfriend keeps trying to "protect" you.
